tv Fox 5 News at 11 FOX September 23, 2012 12:00am-12:15am EDT
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>> announcer: "weekend update" with seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> good evening. i'm seth meyers and here are tonight's top stories. >> mitt romney on friday released his 2011 tax returns which showed he paid a 14% tax rate, a little less than what restaurants add on for parties of six or more. the 14% tax rate is less than the 20% paid by the average american. how did he pay such a low rate? he claimed 47% of americans as dependents.
ann romney responded to criticism of her husband's presidential campaign saying "stop it, this is hard. you want to try it? get in the ring." in response, the interviewer entered the race and is leading mitt romney by five points. [ laughter ] there is speculation mitt romney applied a self-tanner to dye his face brown before adding a town hall on spanish language tv. speculation, he looks like my dad's recliner. though i think his appearance at the veteran's town hall was even more pandering. at an aarp conference yesterday, vice presidential candidate, paul ryan, pledged to repeal obamacare and was booed by the audience. then, ryan won them back by yelling, "hey, who likes soup?" [ laughter ] while addressing a town hall meeting thursday, president obama said you can't change washington from the inside, you can only change it from the outside. a rare gaffe from the president
brings out to our segment, what are you doing? president obama, what are you doing? your poll numbers are looking great. your opponent is in flames. i haven't heard joe biden's name in months, which is great. [ laughter ] and yet, you come out and say, "hey, i can't change washington from the inside." i'm not saying what you said isn't true. i'm saying why are you saying anything during the romney tailspin? [ laughter ] let's review -- on monday, a secret tape is released where romney insults half the country. then on that same day he stands by those remarks. on wednesday he does town hall for spanish in brown face. and friday, paul ryan gets booed by the aarp. and then, instead of just enjoying that, you go, "hey, remember my campaign slogan? yeah, i can't do that." [ laughter ] don't make this hard on yourself. you're like the criminal who gets away with murder and then starts sending the cops puzzles to figure it out. [ laughter ] take a note from the queen of england.
she's still in power because she's only said 11 words since 1940. [ laughter ] >> also on a pure entertainment level, don't take the focus off romney follies. they're so desperate, their campaign is starting to look like the last season of "lost." [ laughter ] i mean, seriously, obama, are you trying to win this without running up the score? i mean, what happened? did biden tell you he bet big money on you getting re-elected, but he needs mitt to cover the spread? [ laughter ] "you've got to keep it close, boss. these are bad guys i'm dealing with." [ laughter ] can you really not change it from the inside? i thought we were in charge of the hope and you were in charge of the change. i mean, no one wants the coach to come in at halftime and say, "that was rough. anybody have any ideas?" [ laughter ] you want us to fix it? look, if you make a facebook
page, we'll like it. it's the least we can do, but it's also the most we can do. [ laughter and applause ] the other stuff, that's why we need you. mr. president, what are you doing? new jersey's dmv banning drivers from having big smiles on their driver's license photos. i've got to wonder, was that a big problem at the new jersey dmv? [ laughter ] it's everything i ever thought it would be. earlier this week bashar al-assad gave a rare interview to journalists addressing accusations by the international community of being a violent, tyrannical dictator. here to defend him are assad's two best friends from growing up. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, hello. >> hi. so now, president assad's forces have openly attacked thousands of protesters all over syria, and is considered to be one of the most dangerous leaders alive. you say you're his friends.
do you guys actually like him? >> oh yeah. >> oh yeah, definitely. >> absolutely. >> i mean, he's our buddy, and he's like, always there for us. >> yeah, yeah, we hang out all the time. we just get along. you know, he's a good guy. i mean, i feel like sometimes he thinks a lot more about himself than other people. >> yeah, yeah, like -- okay, we were at my friend's baby shower, and everyone was like, "oh look at those cute little boots, that cute jumper --" >> and bash comes back and he's like, "oh you think all this stuff is cool? you should see my army." i'm like, "nobody cares." [ laughter ] >> nobody cares. and also, like, we're here for our friend's baby shower. like, be nice. >> yeah, i'm sorry, i cannot hear you guys. [ laughter ] are you saying he's self-obsessed? >> no, no, no. >> okay. >> i mean, bash, he's the best guy. purchase we love him, love him. >> yeah, yeah, we spend so much time with him. we just love him. >> and we'll say, like, we were at that baby shower, and i'm like, "oh, you know, like, maybe someday, like, i'd like to have a baby."